Life is a journey....my testimony.

Updated on September 13, 2017

Let me introduce myself first. My name is Rachel Jackson, I am a singer/songwriter and speaker. My heart is to minister to people and encourage people to be real and honest with God, themselves, and others. My prayer is that through music and word will come healing, deliverance, restoration, and salvation. In ministering in this way a movement was started that has made a large impact in schools. I have been in ministry for 16 years reaching out to women, children, youth, and college aged students.  My music has received regular airplay on several radio stations across America. I have led worship in many settings from church camps to inside prison walls. I serve as a youth leader next to my husband that is the youth pastor of Angus Church in Sand Springs, OK.  Jared Jackson and I have 3 kids together and have been married for 13 years.

I’ve been blessed with a life that lends itself to exploration and discovery. My greatest find during my journey, so far, has been true friendships. The people whom I am surrounded with strengthen my character and faith. These wonderful friends add immense richness and fulfillment to my life – making struggles more bearable and victories more memorable.

After God being my first reason, it is for people who I speak out, write songs and sing. I never finish writing a song hoping to sing it alone forever. We all sound better together, we all “do life” better together. This is at the core of what I believe and whom I believe in: that we would be strengthened in community, joined as one, and making a difference for something bigger than ourselves. 

Not usually do I talk a lot about my past.  Frankly it is embarrassing and hurtful.  Even this week I was faced with the fact that things of my past make me emotional.  That is ok though, I say that because if I ever become numb and loss the tears then the next question is;  is my heart hardening? Because at no point should what happened be ok.  So I let the tears fall but remember God is here and I am safe with him.

My prayer is that someone is ministered though this and healing will take place.  I now Identify myself with Christ and do not define myself with the past.  I know it takes some part in what I am today but a small part considering how far God has brought me.  So here I go!  

I am going to give Glory to God for my life and for a way out of destruction and death! I once was full of anger and pain. Now I have joy and peace! I once hated people. Now people are my hearts mission! I once found an escape in drugs but now Jesus is my escape from this world!  There was a time I had no desire or purpose to live. God gave me purpose and I am so thankful for breath!  I desire to thrive and endure till the end, and reach others and see deliverance and healing!

I grew up in a home where my Mom was a God fearing women and she loved me and my brother very much. I remember her saying things like……. she would take a trip to the depths of Hell to pull me out and rescue me, with me cursing her all the way if she had too. She would be willing to do anything for me and my brother.  Thank you Mom for always being there.  Now that I am older I see the amazing role you had in my life that made me who I am today. I am a fighter.

My father on the other hand abused me physically, emotionally, verbally & spiritually. As well as being sexually inappropriate.  I was an angry suicidal teen, desperate for help not knowing who I was. The interesting twist to this story that should be a shock but in our culture sadly isn’t is I was a daughter of a minister of the gospel. As a young child my parents were missionaries and church planters in Mexico for 2.5 years.  We saw God do amazing works, miracles and change whole communities. All at the same time my father who claimed to serve God condemned the rest of us in the family. He was very controlling and used the bible as I tool to manipulate, confuse, and accuse. He attempted to kill my mother in front of me and my brother, for what, I still don't understand today.  I said frequently to him, “whatever God you serve I will NEVER have anything to do with!”  There were times I thought that God wasn’t real but if he was…. he must hate me.  I was told often I was the devils child and my rebellion and dishonor would cause me an early death which just sounded like he wanted me dead.

My Mom stood strong and kept faith but was wore out at the same time.  She was scared to leave due to his threats and weird ways.  My dad had isolated her away from all family and friends in Florida and put her in Oklahoma after the first year of marriage. She was very close to her dad, he died 10 days after the forced move. She hung in there waiting for a safe escape from the world she had never imagined.   

I had got into drug use for a while as a teen. I actually hid a lot from people my struggles and many didn’t know the condition I was in, not even my Mom.  I had hit rock bottom and was contemplating on taking actions that I would regret.  Then suddenly I was being asked to come to church by one of my brothers friends.  I hesitated but decided to see if maybe this God I was taught about was different then what I had perceived. Somehow in this life we live in my brother now believed in God like mom! He and his friends were reaching out to me. I went to church…..I fell to my knees at the altar call and asked God to reveal himself to me in an undeniable way. And boy did he ever and has continued without me giving good reason!  I am completely aware that I am undeserving by standards holiness. I am a work in progress.

It has been 18 years sense God gave me NEW life!   He has blessed me in many ways. My wonderful husband being one, (Jared Jackson) who loves me as I am and loves God wholeheartedly. He has help me overcome many things I was unable to on my own. I am a different person because of him in my life and I am very thankful. Then their are our kids. Doctors had said I could NOT have Children due to PCOS and being born Insulin Resistant. But my God is bigger! Gavin, Aliyah, and Jovie are amazing and I am proud to be their mom.

There is so much I am not sharing to keep this short. So to come to an end I say.… I know Jesus is real and I trust him with everything in me. He rescued and delivered me from my situation and healed me of the hurt and pain. I made the right steps for healing and I will continue to give it all to God. I forgave my dad and pray for restoration. Though it will never be what it should have, with unconditional love and wisdom, I would have a relationship today. Unfortunately my dad is not in my life by his choice. My mom, brother and me are very close!  I am so thankful for my relationship with them. We all praise God who brought us out of all of it. 

My heart cries out to the hurting.  I desire so much for them to see there is a way out of pain.  Jesus is the way, the truth, and the light in this dark, cruel, and dying world.

Rachel Jackson

www.racheljacksonmusic.com